Many people believe that the No. 1 secret to maintaining a healthy relationship is having good communication skills yet one of the common problems within every relationship is the matter of communication – or let us say mis-understood communication.
This is a vast subject however what we are going to briefly attempt to summarize a new paradigm to communication - a new and different way to think about communication.
Communication is not just language, ideas expression and concepts. These are things we tend to focus on when we don’t want to risk being open and emotionally vulnerable.
Partnerships raise fears and issues – that is only natural and human.
We believe that expressing negative thoughts or expressing fear about your partner creates distance – often a distance that is difficult to overcome. If we can learn to trust and accept the vulnerabilities of both partners – yes, including yourself, then we create intimacy rather than distance … … and ultimately Communication becomes Communion – a partnership.
Couples – without even realizing it negate each other. Imagine the scene – a partner extolling the virtues of the deck painting he has just completed: ‘It looks great – good color choice.’ The other partner immediately chimes in: ‘About time – he’s been going to do it for over a year!’
Have we all been there?
And it goes both ways – and most of the time is not an intentional put-down … … but what a put-down!
The psychology behind such comments is often quite deep but could be as simple as – ‘I’m pissed he could not pick up the kids after soccer, because his golf was too important.’
Another one of the major communication ‘mis-communications’ is appreciation acknowledgement.
Do we ever take our partner for granted! And taking for granted becomes even more an issue as the relationship progresses.
How often do we hear one partner tell friends that ‘he cooks the three nights a week I have an afternoon class’ or ‘I have been so successful in this business, it’s amazing’ – what about the partner support acknowledgement?
Communication on all levels is essential for a relationship to thrive.
Most relationships will eventually have issues that need to be discussed. These issues may be big or small. How ‘issues’ are handled – how they are addressed – or as in so many cases, not addressed and let to simmer just beneath the surface – how they are handled then is a key ingredient in the success of the partnership.
It takes two to communicate well.
This is a vast subject however what we are going to briefly attempt to summarize a new paradigm to communication - a new and different way to think about communication.
Communication is not just language, ideas expression and concepts. These are things we tend to focus on when we don’t want to risk being open and emotionally vulnerable.
Partnerships raise fears and issues – that is only natural and human.
We believe that expressing negative thoughts or expressing fear about your partner creates distance – often a distance that is difficult to overcome. If we can learn to trust and accept the vulnerabilities of both partners – yes, including yourself, then we create intimacy rather than distance … … and ultimately Communication becomes Communion – a partnership.
Couples – without even realizing it negate each other. Imagine the scene – a partner extolling the virtues of the deck painting he has just completed: ‘It looks great – good color choice.’ The other partner immediately chimes in: ‘About time – he’s been going to do it for over a year!’
Have we all been there?
And it goes both ways – and most of the time is not an intentional put-down … … but what a put-down!
The psychology behind such comments is often quite deep but could be as simple as – ‘I’m pissed he could not pick up the kids after soccer, because his golf was too important.’
Another one of the major communication ‘mis-communications’ is appreciation acknowledgement.
Do we ever take our partner for granted! And taking for granted becomes even more an issue as the relationship progresses.
How often do we hear one partner tell friends that ‘he cooks the three nights a week I have an afternoon class’ or ‘I have been so successful in this business, it’s amazing’ – what about the partner support acknowledgement?
Communication on all levels is essential for a relationship to thrive.
Most relationships will eventually have issues that need to be discussed. These issues may be big or small. How ‘issues’ are handled – how they are addressed – or as in so many cases, not addressed and let to simmer just beneath the surface – how they are handled then is a key ingredient in the success of the partnership.
It takes two to communicate well.
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