International Peace Garden July 2014
Self- Esteem #1
On a recent workshop trip we were talking with a lovely young woman who was talking about herself. We had mentioned during the course of the workshop: “You need to love yourself. You have so much to offer.” She looked us in the eye and asked: “How, how do I just love myself? What does that mean? I was told before that I should just give as if I was already getting everything I needed.”
Quite a direct and valid question!
When personal self-esteem is low, the very idea of loving yourself or giving completely is a foreign concept. We see ourselves as lacking and unworthy and feel there’s nothing to give, nothing to love.
Low self-esteem is common and a self-fulfilling prophecy. The worse you feel about yourself, the less energy and motivation you have to do what it takes to turn your self-esteem around and feel that you are worthy of giving. And that is usually not all – as our self-esteem continues to be a drag it has a dramatic effect on our thinking. We tend to lock into the negative which more often than not has little or no basis in reality.
Self-esteem improves by changing both our thoughts and behaviors. Through practicing new behaviors our thinking changes and we can then affect our feelings about ourselves. This is important.
Over the next few Buzz-Blogs we will share some actions you can consider taking to practice improving your thinking, develop a healthy love for yourself and improve your self-esteem.
Here are the first five:
1. Do something creative
Creativity stimulates the brain and releases a different ‘state of mind’ as you become totally engaged and absorbed in what you are doing. Makes you feel ‘good’!
2. Practice affirmations
Keep a Journal of Affirmation in which you write down positive, loving statements about yourself. We know this is a task but can be extremely beneficial especially if you read your Journal before you go to sleep – also each morning.
3. Write down your accomplishments
Think back through your life to all that you’ve accomplished. When you list everything you have done that you feel proud of, you will be amazed. Celebrate them! Celebrate yourself!
4. Take care of your relationships
It is important to focus your love, time, and attention on the people you care about most. Think honestly about your role in how you interact with them. Take careful care of and nurture your relationships – they can and should be for real.
5. Let go of draining people
Think carefully about the people in your life. Then let go of those who put you down, drain you of energy, take advantage of you or expect you to be what they want you to be and not yourself. As they slip gently out of your life – don’t just cut them off! – start surrounding yourself with loving and supportive people who respect and value you – for you, for who you are.
On a recent workshop trip we were talking with a lovely young woman who was talking about herself. We had mentioned during the course of the workshop: “You need to love yourself. You have so much to offer.” She looked us in the eye and asked: “How, how do I just love myself? What does that mean? I was told before that I should just give as if I was already getting everything I needed.”
Quite a direct and valid question!
When personal self-esteem is low, the very idea of loving yourself or giving completely is a foreign concept. We see ourselves as lacking and unworthy and feel there’s nothing to give, nothing to love.
Low self-esteem is common and a self-fulfilling prophecy. The worse you feel about yourself, the less energy and motivation you have to do what it takes to turn your self-esteem around and feel that you are worthy of giving. And that is usually not all – as our self-esteem continues to be a drag it has a dramatic effect on our thinking. We tend to lock into the negative which more often than not has little or no basis in reality.
Self-esteem improves by changing both our thoughts and behaviors. Through practicing new behaviors our thinking changes and we can then affect our feelings about ourselves. This is important.
Over the next few Buzz-Blogs we will share some actions you can consider taking to practice improving your thinking, develop a healthy love for yourself and improve your self-esteem.
Here are the first five:
1. Do something creative
Creativity stimulates the brain and releases a different ‘state of mind’ as you become totally engaged and absorbed in what you are doing. Makes you feel ‘good’!
2. Practice affirmations
Keep a Journal of Affirmation in which you write down positive, loving statements about yourself. We know this is a task but can be extremely beneficial especially if you read your Journal before you go to sleep – also each morning.
3. Write down your accomplishments
Think back through your life to all that you’ve accomplished. When you list everything you have done that you feel proud of, you will be amazed. Celebrate them! Celebrate yourself!
4. Take care of your relationships
It is important to focus your love, time, and attention on the people you care about most. Think honestly about your role in how you interact with them. Take careful care of and nurture your relationships – they can and should be for real.
5. Let go of draining people
Think carefully about the people in your life. Then let go of those who put you down, drain you of energy, take advantage of you or expect you to be what they want you to be and not yourself. As they slip gently out of your life – don’t just cut them off! – start surrounding yourself with loving and supportive people who respect and value you – for you, for who you are.
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